Sometimes it can be difficult to determine if serious problems exist in your marriage or relationships. There are three tips to determine if you have serious relationship or marriage problems.
Don't assume no red flags
There might not be any red flags, arguments, or typical indicators that you can see. There has to be mutual and honest communication to really determine whether serious relationship or marriage problems exist. Communication is a process is which messages are share. There are senders and receivers. Therefore each partner has to register the same message at the same intensity for a serious problem to be noted. It is common for messages to be declined or minimized. For example, imagine a partner saying, "I'm not satisfied in the relationship"or "I think our marriage can be more". A minimizing response might be, "Oh things are not that bad compared to some relationship". A healthy response would be to explore the dissatisfaction without any antidotes quite yet.
2. Use simple scaling
Get a feel for how intense problems are. Are great way to determine the intensity is to scale the intensity form 1-10 (where 1= the relationship is not problematic at all o 10= the relationship is extremely problematic); which means a higher ratings equates to perceptions of more serious problems. What happens when couples respond differently? I say consider the higher number.
3. Respond appropriately
Assume things are as they are being perceived. Remember denial or minimization could mean that no or not enough effort is put into the solution finding process...and thereby possibly leaving the less satisfied person to find ways to quietly (or maybe not so quietly) exit the relationship. Just like you car has gauges to help you determine when something needs checking...use scaling to help check where things are in your relationships.
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