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Say yes to a better relationship with yourself


  • Exploring Relationships

  • Concerns with Death

  • Learning to Trust Yourself
  • Staying Calm
  • Handling Adversity
  • Minority/Racial Stress

What is individual counseling?

Individual counseling is typically a 30 to 50 minute virtual or in-person session with a counselor or therapist. There are times when others might be invited to session if needed and agreed upon by clients, counselor, and invited parties.

Can one person work on relationship issues?

Relationships Matters will say yes. It really depends on your philosophy of how relationships can work and your capacity to be a long-term champion for the relationship. Individuals can make differences in relationships by working on their own behaviors that contribute to more positive interactions patterns.When one person changes in a relationship, it will naturally force the other person to change (sometimes in unhelpful ways).

What is parts work?

Did you know that a systems approach can be applied to individuals using a parts approach. At Relationships Matter, we see symptoms such as anxiety, depression, and anger as parts. Sometimes these parts work with you and sometimes parts can run in front of you. You probably know what happens when these parts interact in your relationships. You end up asking, "What made me say that? or Why did I do this?" That's you being highjacked by parts. Parts that might not trust you (yet) to take care of things or to protect you.

What are benefits of individual counseling?

The benefits of individual counseling is that clients can openly speak without concern for how others might feel. Clients can use the entire time for themselves.

What are drawbacks of individual counseling?

A drawback of individual counseling is that it provides less of an opportunity in the moment to work though parts that are typically activated by others such as partners, parents, children, or colleagues. Another drawback of individual counseling is the inability to switch to couples counseling.

Specialized Approaches



Systems is a specialized approach that can also be applied to individuals. Systems approach is different in that the focus is on how members as opposed to individual functioning only impacts life and perceptions. Rarely, is any one person the problem in life. The problem can be better understood by exploring how, when, where, and to what degree patterns in key relationships continue to play out. These are called interaction patterns. Interaction patterns can be problematic, such as when control drama are played out. We might spend time discussing family influences and mapping past relationships. A

Internal Family Systems (IFS)


IFS, created by Dr. Swartz is a framework for doing parts work with couples and individuals. The ultimate goal is be more of your Self, which is characterized by the 8 C's: compassion, confidence, courage, connection, calmness, creativity, curiosity, and clarity. Ever said a part of me wants to... That's how this model works. Thoughts, sensations, emotions, and other things that you experience in or around your body are parts doing their job. Most people try to ignore or override these parts. IFS is a transformative approach for appreciating all your parts so you feel less burdened, weighed, down, and shamed.  Parts usually want to protect you, they just go about in unhelpful ways. Some parts have been with you for a long time and have things they want to share with you and things they need to hear form you. You can also visit the IFS Institute Webpage.

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